eh?

In good Kierkegaardian ‘genius’ style, I have had an insight that I shall bestow upon my readers: Psalm 119.74 is the key to social popularity! And as we all know, the Bible has value only insofar as (again, thank you Kierkegaard!) it has to do with ME and my FELT needs.

Oddly enough, even this ‘genius’ idea won’t be good enough for many, who see no value in attention gained from “those who fear You.” And who would have thought that we all are ‘popular’ anyway, from the One who can fill our need for attention. (That really does sound quite audacious!)

Now, for those of you who read this blog-o-la of mine, you’ve probably noticed that it’s not the most readable. It’s really more like a series of ‘first drafts’ without ever getting to the ‘final’ draft. If I had the time, then I would be reviewing and rewriting, building and extending arguments, but I don’t, so this is what ya get from my head while in church this morning (although, not always explicitly within anything said):

1) “God’s in my spiritual clique.”

This morning Daniel mentioned how it’s within the nature of ‘cool’ to blow ppl off. There’s the “I’m cool, and I only associate with those who are ‘on my level’.” Usually socially, but we all have our lines of judging.

So what happens when we take this mentality with us to church? or to Jesus? Often we keep our own identity that we want, like and have paid dearly in time and effort to create. That identity is ‘cool’ and so when all our social relationships are based on that factor, when we get involved with Jesus, well.. I’m cool, and I’m now involved with Jesus, so.. Jesus must be cool… right?

Wow. Talk about turning the “love you enough to not leave you like you are” on it’s head. While our pastor didn’t so much hit on some of these previous ideas, he did counter it with the truth that Jesus doesn’t display this feature of being ‘cool’. It’s not about exclusivity. It’s about looking at a crowd and looking for the one or two who are missing. and then, not just noticing “Where’s Tom?” but then going after ‘em. Basically, if Jesus WAS cool (blowing off those who aren’t like him) we’d be toast a long time ago.

2) Weak duty.

There’s been too many people around me over the years who have become convinced that “I need to pray and read my bible and go to church and do church-stuff despite there being any actual difference or change to myself, my life, my friends because of these activities, cuz that’s what faith is.”

I don’t know what it is within me that took that idea and revolted against it, and to a large degree, I never never explicitly said that I was rejecting it. Rather, I “just knew” that Jesus’ involvement in my life not just “should” or “could” or “ought” make me act different.. but that if Jesus is my life, then that has something to do with my mind and emotions as well as my actions and decisions. I don’t know when or how that idea became embedded in my theology, but it did, and it’s the central theme to my daily living. Jesus has made an incredible difference in my present-day life, often with me fighting against his bringing it out within me.

3) Strong fighting.

Which brings me to my third ’strain’ or ‘version’ of Christianity. In undergrad there were those who tried to reform my Christianity to the weak duty(usually by means of “you’ll feel like it after you do it” bunk; maybe I’m still not spiritual enough!) when I explained to them that I “just didn’t feel/couldn’t bring myself” to sing the ‘worship’ songs that spoke of my having a present, positive emotional state towards God. Looking back, I can only see these people as those who have more self-control of their life and emotions than I did. If you can tell yourself to “be happy” about any given topic, then you’re a ‘better’(more independent, and less understanding of your need for Jesus?) person than I am in this area.

I’m more than happy to call Jesus my ‘crutch’. Why? Cuz I’m more than happy to tell you that I’m a mess on my own. And not just tell you, I’m fully unable to hide it. I’m the brutally honest ‘uncool’ one who’s glad Jesus isn’t too ‘cool’ to blow me aside.

I titled this version of Christianity as “strong fighting,” which thus far may sound ridiculous since all I’ve mentioned is my weakness! As I live my life according to Jesus’ strength, I then gain confidence (faith!) in He who has proved himself (according to “my eyes” which some are all to fast to use in this instance). But that’s exactly it: I live and am told to live according to how I see, feel, think; what tastes good, what smells good, what feels good. That which makes me ‘cool’. but if Jesus loves my ‘uncool’ self, then why do I need that which is ‘cool’ for my spiritual fulfillment/growth? I’m left fighting against all that wars against my soul for Him who is for me.

While searching for 2 Cor 12.9, I came across another: 2 Cor 11.3: “But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.“

Absolutely. I have no other message to my brothers.

I’m rapidly coming to the end of my ability to communicate what I want to about living like Christ.

I could whine & complain about how death is a more common word in the New Testament than love, and how nearly everyone around me doesn’t seem to ‘get’ that dying daily isn’t an option. I can understand though. Just how is it that we are to die? Is there a 3 step method? Most ppl are so focused on the material and the doing aspects I think they don’t think about their own soul and the mess that’s usually found there.

Just look at yourself for a second. Ignore the question of “do you like how you live?”, cuz that only works when we’re honest, and have higher expectations out of life than what we get, and honestly, most of us have lowered expectations about what life here can offer us- to the level of minimising even what Jesus can do in this life with it. So look at this question instead: how often do you get angry? how often do you just want something to ‘go your way’? How often do you sigh in resignation about your job/boss/classes/significant other? Now, where do you think those things ‘come from’? Do you think that they are all connected, having a source somewhere? If not, if you think life is just random with nothing ‘there’, then go live your “eat, drink & be merry” life. You’ve condemned yourself already.

But for the fateful few who dare look into themselves, who dare believe beyond their own understanding that “there’s more” than what you see and know, what is it behind all your emotional torment/mishaps? Why are you angry? Why do you fight? Are you hearing yourself inside screaming “I just want ____ (my way)?” Peter demanded it. The rich man felt it inside. What was Jesus’ response? “Listen to me instead of you. Your answer to life isn’t found doing things your way.” What did Jesus challenge these men on? Their piety? Cuz they didn’t read their Bible enough? DOing is NOT the point.

How then do I do as Jesus requires? Listen to Him. Notice your own desires. Be honest. “Jesus, I want ____. What is it that you want? What is it that YOU say about ____? Is ___ apart of Your kingdom, or of mine?” Goodness, if you can’t trust Jesus with your getting upset each day, what CAN you trust Him with?? Isn’t this obedience?

I’m convinced the typical american christian is powerless and weak because he does not live in obedience to Christ because he is not connected to Christ, does not listen to Christ, nor does he want to. I wish this was not the case, but I can’t seem to find any other reason.

Some will then reply to me saying, “but I’ve not heard from Christ, though I’ve tried.” This has been my life too. Usually I’m too stubborn to listen to him shouting about what I don’t want to hear about. I have seen daily that if I do not listen to Him, if I do not submit my will to Him, then He will force His hand to get my attention: my anger will arise, He will show me that I cannot handle myself, that my will and knowledge is not sufficient.

There’s always 2 elements when it comes to “what to do”. (1) What Jesus says and (2) what I think about what Jesus says, especially when what I think Jesus says isn’t what I want Jesus to tell me!

There’s a bad tendency in the church to dissociate Jesus’ (God’s) will from wisdom. As if what God tells you will ALWAYS be irrational.

Likewise, there’s the other boundary that Jesus’ will isn’t personal to you, and He won’t tell you, so you just have to go with the ‘generic’ commands in the Bible about being a “good steward”(I *DO* mean in that to be read in the most mocking voice possible.. anyways..). And Jesus’ will is clearly your own personal benefit, material growth and ultimately “whatever you want to do is cool with him so long as you (1) give $$ to the poor/missionaries/church(and not invest your own life)  (2) send your kids to christian/home school(and not teach them discernment) and (3) go to church just on sunday mornings.

I’d like to propose a “staged” model whereby at first you learn and obey the generic commands of Christ and then he “let’s you in” on the “big picture”(irrational) but that sounds WAAAY too (1) contrived (2) like a cult (3) elitist (“secret knowledge” that I have but you ‘lowly’ don’t).

Jesus didn’t come to create a caste system, quite the opposite. In his coming, a goal of His is unity across the man-made borders.

Well, at the same time that it isn’t about a caste system, it IS about obedience (teach them to obey the commands). And it IS about that faithfulness/obedience with little being rewarded (parable of talents).

But most of us aren’t interested in obedience. I’m usually not! I like my own way thank you very much! I like the plush life of Americana. Listen to Jesus? Why would I do that when I can listen to me & everyone else?! I’ve got options, I don’t need to JUST listen to Jesus.. c’mon now.

I could keep going.. and I probably will..

What concerns me in this moment though is the harm that is done in going outside the boundaries set. Yes, it IS about “listen to Jesus”. Yes, that means even about your house and car. No, I don’t expect you to get it unless you’ve been faithful with the ‘generic’/'little’ commands. Yes, I am crazy.

Say I want to start a church. How am I going to do it? Well, should I go about the maps of the city I wanna start one & see where there’s the least number of churches? Or should I ask God and wait. and wait. and wait. What if I wait for 5 years and I don’t hear anything?

You realize just how many things could be ‘going right/wrong’ here? 1) Why do you even wanna start a church? Who’s idea was it? Your’s or God’s? Sure you may “see a need” and sure that need may well be legitimate in your own eyes. You may even be thinking that you’re “obeying God’s command” by starting a church, cuz after all “didn’t He tell us to spread the gospel?” (and (sarcasm again) OF COURSE gospel=church!)

(2) And what about your role in it? Did God say that He wanted *you* to do this? Or are you “jumping the gun” because “Well, no one else is!” What if God’s plan isn’t about “starting a church” but changing your will to be obedient to Him?

(3) Maybe after all that, He does want you to start a church. Maybe the location isn’t the important part. Did you ask God about what your priorities should be? And whether location is part of that deal? Why do you think He needs to answer your question on your timeline?

But for most of us, it probably isn’t about starting a church. What about choosing a church? Do you base your decision on which church is “most like Starbucks” or which church offers true fellowship around the Word of God and service to the poor, the sick, the weak, the widows? (but oh! I forgot, Starbucks gives to charity and even encourages it’s employees to do so.. maybe I SHOULD model my church-going to Starbucks afterall!!)

I’m not done yet. I started off writing this about the harm involved in over-rational approaches. Let me continue with my church-starting example. What happens if I don’t address any of the above questions and go ahead and pick the location with the least amount of churches in a neighborhood that is ethnically, financially and socially like me? And what happens if I preach to them messages that get me excited? What happens to the perception of Jesus in a whole community of people? Is sacrifice a part of that image? Is obedience part of what they understand christianity to be about? What are the ramifications of a whole nation not understanding the gospel because it’s been propogated by people who have not been lead by God, but by their own ‘wisdom’?

I dare say you get America, and you get Europe. There is no such thing as “no harm no foul” when it comes to living by your own wisdom and living by God’s explicit will for your life. And we won’t have a clue about any of this unless we obey what is already clear. Have you prayed today(since Jesus prayed daily)? Did it match “The Lord’s Prayer” (since that’s how Jesus taught us to pray)?

So here I am being a good thinker a few days ago and trying to use my brain for the task at hand: understanding how relationships grow.

Well, today I’m again, being a good boy and going to church, and hear a message I usually embrace and adore: “Jesus is enough” (enough for all my fears, questions, issues, thinking, relating, doing, etc. That is, I don’t need to have ‘5 steps to being a better christian’)

Now the centrality of the simple gospel is what I love about my church. But I was a bit concerned today. Was he calling me out on my thinking about relationships the other day? Did I somehow ‘dis’ God by not letting him be the glorious solution to whatever I defined as the problem?

So I got to thinking (duh?!).. mostly while conversing over this with a fellow thinker. If Jesus is all I need for all my issues and problems, then (1) what the heck does that mean and (2) how does that relate to me and my thinking processes? Here’s what we came up with:

• Jesus knows the details of all of our lives, and is ready/willing/able to communicate to us about what we should be doing in those circumstances. (By ‘communicate’ I refer to John 16.13, and all it entails.)
• I am human and don’t know all circumstances.
• My lack of complete knowledge results in generic statements about what I perceive to be ‘normal’ for all ppl reading/hearing me.
• Therefore, he knows you and your story and what ought be done more than what I can try to generalize, so listen to Jesus not me.

Now, that’s a valid & sound argument in my mind. But I’m not happy with it. Cuz I wanna say that I’ve come up with something here that is profitable (albeit not absolutely applicable). And I wanna say that my mind and thinking can be a God-glorifying enterprise. So I gave it another go:

• While I don’t know all circumstances, I do know something about my own.
• While I don’t know all truth, I do know what is communicated to me by Jesus (re: His Spirit/His words while on this planet).
• God wants our lives to be lived in accordance with truth; this is glorifying to Him.
• It then is glorifying to Him to understand my circumstances and understand His truth.
• Furthermore, it is glorifying to Him for me to bring my understanding of my life and His truth into unity in how I choose to live. That is, my life and his truth ‘eclipse’. (Think Venn diagrams..)
• Therefore, I need to use my rational processes to understand His truth and my circumstances.

Ok, now all that in English: I think. That’s a good thing as long as my thinking is constrained to understanding the elements and details of my life and how it “works” and what I’m doing and why I choose what I do. Likewise my thinking is a good thing in terms of having a coherent view of His truth, and it’s correspondence to my life. That is, I cannot live as Jesus without using my rational process. I can perhaps “look like it” or “pretend”, but I will be acting without understanding/knowledge. I will be little different than a commanded soldier. “Don’t ask questions, just do.”

Now, some will rebut, “Christians are to submit to God’s direction, and yes, should not ‘ask questions’ but should just go ahead and do as commanded clearly! That is what faithfulness is!”

Right.

So much of me wants to scream out towards that mindset, “But you’ll miss the glory of God in knowing Him!” But they would only yell back, “but you’ll miss out on His glory displayed because you have not acted!” So now that that has gotten us nowhere, let me proceed in another vein:

What was presented a minute ago could be setup like this:

• All God has communicated is commands for His followers.
• All God’s commands are to be followed by His followers.
• All God’s commands are clearly understood. “You read it, You do it”
  • As a corollary, “None of God’s commands take intellectual effort to comprehend.”
• Therefore, none of God’s communication needs nothing more than be acted upon.

If that is all the gospel is, where is Jesus? The whole point of this blog was recovering rationality to christian living in light of “Jesus is all I need.” While I see no need for rationality in the above argument, I do not also see any Jesus, nor need for Him. I only see man acting in his own power.

The sad part about this the above argument is that it is a christianity without ability to communicate with anyone other than those who already know God’s commands. What is to be said to the one who is depressed? Who is addicted to _____? Who keeps up with the Joneses?

Thinking gets people into their messes, yes. That is not a problem with thinking. It’s a problem with prioritising their thinking as a legit problem-solving method in stead of Jesus.

Keeping up with the Joneses is a problem Jesus called out. But what do we do with it? Just “stop it”? That’s an irrational responce. Rationality comes alongside Jesus’ words to the Rich Young Ruler and says, “Your priority is not eternal. Your priority is not Jesus’ glory but your own.”

Depression can have multiple causes, that is truly debated. But for a number of people I know, it has been caused by hearing messages in the back of your head and assuming they’re (1) from within your own mind and (2) truth when they are not.  Rationality comes and understands those 2 points and looks for the solution in Jesus, who has said there is an enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10.10, as well as 1 Cor 12.5.)

Rationality is the glue between what I know and do and what someone else says about what I know and do. The solution is always Jesus. My need is always Him. But it takes rational effort to understand my need, and to understand how He is the solution. Do I have to always know how He is the solution? No, but I know Him more by knowing how, and somehow knowing Him is all that matters (Philippians 3).