In good Kierkegaardian ‘genius’ style, I have had an insight that I shall bestow upon my readers: Psalm 119.74 is the key to social popularity! And as we all know, the Bible has value only insofar as (again, thank you Kierkegaard!) it has to do with ME and my FELT needs.

Oddly enough, even this ‘genius’ idea won’t be good enough for many, who see no value in attention gained from “those who fear You.” And who would have thought that we all are ‘popular’ anyway, from the One who can fill our need for attention. (That really does sound quite audacious!)

Now, for those of you who read this blog-o-la of mine, you’ve probably noticed that it’s not the most readable. It’s really more like a series of ‘first drafts’ without ever getting to the ‘final’ draft. If I had the time, then I would be reviewing and rewriting, building and extending arguments, but I don’t, so this is what ya get from my head while in church this morning (although, not always explicitly within anything said):

1) “God’s in my spiritual clique.”

This morning Daniel mentioned how it’s within the nature of ‘cool’ to blow ppl off. There’s the “I’m cool, and I only associate with those who are ‘on my level’.” Usually socially, but we all have our lines of judging.

So what happens when we take this mentality with us to church? or to Jesus? Often we keep our own identity that we want, like and have paid dearly in time and effort to create. That identity is ‘cool’ and so when all our social relationships are based on that factor, when we get involved with Jesus, well.. I’m cool, and I’m now involved with Jesus, so.. Jesus must be cool… right?

Wow. Talk about turning the “love you enough to not leave you like you are” on it’s head. While our pastor didn’t so much hit on some of these previous ideas, he did counter it with the truth that Jesus doesn’t display this feature of being ‘cool’. It’s not about exclusivity. It’s about looking at a crowd and looking for the one or two who are missing. and then, not just noticing “Where’s Tom?” but then going after ‘em. Basically, if Jesus WAS cool (blowing off those who aren’t like him) we’d be toast a long time ago.

2) Weak duty.

There’s been too many people around me over the years who have become convinced that “I need to pray and read my bible and go to church and do church-stuff despite there being any actual difference or change to myself, my life, my friends because of these activities, cuz that’s what faith is.”

I don’t know what it is within me that took that idea and revolted against it, and to a large degree, I never never explicitly said that I was rejecting it. Rather, I “just knew” that Jesus’ involvement in my life not just “should” or “could” or “ought” make me act different.. but that if Jesus is my life, then that has something to do with my mind and emotions as well as my actions and decisions. I don’t know when or how that idea became embedded in my theology, but it did, and it’s the central theme to my daily living. Jesus has made an incredible difference in my present-day life, often with me fighting against his bringing it out within me.

3) Strong fighting.

Which brings me to my third ’strain’ or ‘version’ of Christianity. In undergrad there were those who tried to reform my Christianity to the weak duty(usually by means of “you’ll feel like it after you do it” bunk; maybe I’m still not spiritual enough!) when I explained to them that I “just didn’t feel/couldn’t bring myself” to sing the ‘worship’ songs that spoke of my having a present, positive emotional state towards God. Looking back, I can only see these people as those who have more self-control of their life and emotions than I did. If you can tell yourself to “be happy” about any given topic, then you’re a ‘better’(more independent, and less understanding of your need for Jesus?) person than I am in this area.

I’m more than happy to call Jesus my ‘crutch’. Why? Cuz I’m more than happy to tell you that I’m a mess on my own. And not just tell you, I’m fully unable to hide it. I’m the brutally honest ‘uncool’ one who’s glad Jesus isn’t too ‘cool’ to blow me aside.

I titled this version of Christianity as “strong fighting,” which thus far may sound ridiculous since all I’ve mentioned is my weakness! As I live my life according to Jesus’ strength, I then gain confidence (faith!) in He who has proved himself (according to “my eyes” which some are all to fast to use in this instance). But that’s exactly it: I live and am told to live according to how I see, feel, think; what tastes good, what smells good, what feels good. That which makes me ‘cool’. but if Jesus loves my ‘uncool’ self, then why do I need that which is ‘cool’ for my spiritual fulfillment/growth? I’m left fighting against all that wars against my soul for Him who is for me.

While searching for 2 Cor 12.9, I came across another: 2 Cor 11.3: “But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.“

Absolutely. I have no other message to my brothers.

So call me crazy, but I agree with the German Rationalist (see the end of page 3).

Speigel has a funny LONG article on the role of religion on the continent and in the states.. and it’s kind of a kludge. The writer has some good insights from some people who have something good to say, but they seem to be connected to some ill-logic (9/11 = rise of christian fundamentalism in states). Maybe I’m out of it, but I think religious fundamentalism has been going on in the states from before 9/11. Maybe I’m missing something though. I’d see it more in generational terms: my grandparents were the atheists. My parents are the old-school religion=good. In between those 2 generations, you have the ’80’s liberal christianity kids. I’m in the 90’s “nihilism didn’t do me any good and Jesus did” crowd. Somewhere between me & the 80’s generation (now in their late 40’s), those in their 30’s now are the pluralistic ‘little gods’ who view life as all about themselves, including the ‘use’ of Jesus. And younger than me are an interesting set of kids who are born of the 80’s liberal /cultural christianity- 100% christian schooled, and twisted views of what america is(usually indoctrinated with/holding to ‘pet theologies‘)

So where’s the fundamentalism? It’s a kludge itself, mostly in the old-timers (in their 50’s) who still have an affinity from religion mixed with the 80’s  culturalized-into-conservitism-so-much-that-it’s-liberal and the kids who’ve been raised in it.

9/11 didn’t so much do anything for those who don’t believe so much as helped to polarize those who were “looking for the devil behind every bush.” Sadly, this will leave america completely missing the point- not seeing the devil’s work in our own souls.

But like Jurgen Habermas, I seem to think that rationalism and religion have often been nipping and biting at each other so much in their zero-sum tug of war that fundamentalism has arisen inevitably. Why not merge the two, “like in the good ol’ days” (Augustine/Boethius/Aquinas/Calvin). Where are the volumes of logical, well-thought out worldviews? I like Piper as much as the next guy, but the fundamentalist can use him as fuel. I’d LOVE to see Piper write “Contra American-stupid-religion.” I think what he has written can well be used for this purpose as well, as one of the underlying pillars, but it’s not explicit.

(comments are preferred about speigel over my own silliness, but i’ll take what i get)

So I’m a theology student. Have been for the past, oh 8 years. One thing that drives me up the wall is when Jesus(read: gospel) isn’t the focus nor centre of what we “CHRIST”ians seem to busy ourselves with. It’s amazing how side-tracked we get, and how most ppl don’t seem to notice. I fully understand- you can’t win a battle you’re not fighting. Nor can you win a battle you’re fighting for in the wrong front. (Some will whine here over my use of ‘battle’ language in a war-skepic country. Relax.)

But here in America, we have a tendency driven by our selfish natures and played to by capitalism: gimme what I want now. We’re no longer used to patience, sacrifice and dependence. Now the fun part of this blog: what has this trend done to theology?? What happens if I baptize the Bible into selfish living? This is an impressive feat, since the Bible itself is explicitly a call to self-denial(so much more than that, but it’ll work for now). Well, for starters, you have to edit the plotline. I can’t have my way and not have my way. One has to win out, and if we’re being good Americans, we’ll choose “gimme what i want now.” So any word of change and challenge is right-out. And in comes the “comfort food” theology. Here’s a prime list of “pet theologies” that you won’t have any luck finding in the Bible:

1. Don’t think too much. It’s dangerous. You’ll lose your faith.
2. Democrats are the devil.
3. God wants you to be blessed (rich).
4. Terrorism = persecution of Christians.
5. Eastern culture has more ‘evil’ in it(America=promised land).
6. Jesus is coming back in the next 5-10 years.
7. The world is only 7k yrs old(it’s a great idea, but the Bible’s hoenstly agnostic on this one!).
8. Heirarchy of sin (especially homosexuals who are so much more evil than me).
9. The height of spirituality is praying and reading our Bibles all day long.
10. The pastor is more holy than the rest of us.
11. The pastor and missionaries are to do the work.
12. You’re not saved if you’re not “Ba-yab-tist”(or within your own self-selected group)

Rather than these, what you’re going to find in the Bible is a nice warning against this load of crap. We’re told instead to keep(hold dear, cuz your life depends on it!) to His commands, and to teach others to hold on to ‘em too. Now, if anyone has a problem with me questioning ppl and seeking for their best, it’s evidence once again that america is a lover of herself, not of each other.

Credit where credit is due: She helped me with the list and the idea of this entry

I’m rapidly coming to the end of my ability to communicate what I want to about living like Christ.

I could whine & complain about how death is a more common word in the New Testament than love, and how nearly everyone around me doesn’t seem to ‘get’ that dying daily isn’t an option. I can understand though. Just how is it that we are to die? Is there a 3 step method? Most ppl are so focused on the material and the doing aspects I think they don’t think about their own soul and the mess that’s usually found there.

Just look at yourself for a second. Ignore the question of “do you like how you live?”, cuz that only works when we’re honest, and have higher expectations out of life than what we get, and honestly, most of us have lowered expectations about what life here can offer us- to the level of minimising even what Jesus can do in this life with it. So look at this question instead: how often do you get angry? how often do you just want something to ‘go your way’? How often do you sigh in resignation about your job/boss/classes/significant other? Now, where do you think those things ‘come from’? Do you think that they are all connected, having a source somewhere? If not, if you think life is just random with nothing ‘there’, then go live your “eat, drink & be merry” life. You’ve condemned yourself already.

But for the fateful few who dare look into themselves, who dare believe beyond their own understanding that “there’s more” than what you see and know, what is it behind all your emotional torment/mishaps? Why are you angry? Why do you fight? Are you hearing yourself inside screaming “I just want ____ (my way)?” Peter demanded it. The rich man felt it inside. What was Jesus’ response? “Listen to me instead of you. Your answer to life isn’t found doing things your way.” What did Jesus challenge these men on? Their piety? Cuz they didn’t read their Bible enough? DOing is NOT the point.

How then do I do as Jesus requires? Listen to Him. Notice your own desires. Be honest. “Jesus, I want ____. What is it that you want? What is it that YOU say about ____? Is ___ apart of Your kingdom, or of mine?” Goodness, if you can’t trust Jesus with your getting upset each day, what CAN you trust Him with?? Isn’t this obedience?

I’m convinced the typical american christian is powerless and weak because he does not live in obedience to Christ because he is not connected to Christ, does not listen to Christ, nor does he want to. I wish this was not the case, but I can’t seem to find any other reason.

Some will then reply to me saying, “but I’ve not heard from Christ, though I’ve tried.” This has been my life too. Usually I’m too stubborn to listen to him shouting about what I don’t want to hear about. I have seen daily that if I do not listen to Him, if I do not submit my will to Him, then He will force His hand to get my attention: my anger will arise, He will show me that I cannot handle myself, that my will and knowledge is not sufficient.

I’ve been on about this one lately, and showed up elsewhere. Here’s my version of how these 2000 year old words of our Lord and Savior hit me hard daily:

Our Father,

Father has got to be the word with the most meaning for me.. especially being male. Especially having gone through the ‘bitterness’ stage a few years back towards my own dad. But aside from the history, it is what my heart needs.. wants nearly most of all: to know that for each and every way my dad dropped the ball with my emo’s or attention or otherwise is fulfilled in my heavenly father. I can rage and rant, dance and sing. Matters not. He’s cool with what I bring Him. Maybe having “the whole world in his hands” has a way of putting things in perspective. And having His Spirit in me reminds me of the truth I need. Daily.

And yes, it is more than just me. I’m not alone. He’s given me brothers and sisters through Him being my father. And that’s a good thing to have for encouragement back to that truth I get reminded of.

who art in heaven

Sometimes I’ll skip this, “well duh, where else is He?” But putting the philosophical theology aside on the location of heaven (a fav. topic of mine to be agnostic about!) I’m glad he’s in heaven. That’s a good thing to rejoice over. That means there’s more than this planet which drags me down. And in a minute we’ll see that as a good thing too..

Hallowed be thy name!

What? THY name? Not.. my… name.. darn. I like the attention. I like to get the glory/praise for stuff. I like to be the stud. But as much as that may be my first reaction, if I go on living my day like that, I go crazy. My soul affects my emo’s & inside I turn into a writhing knot! Cuz the day doesn’t bow down to me. I fuss & whine like a little 2 year old, “I want MY WAY!!!” but I can do nothing to bring it about so often. And lest I throw myself on the floor at work, screaming and beating my fists on the floor (or being sharp with fellow employees, a jerk, etc etc..) Maybe it IS a good thing His name be exalted. Maybe it is a good thing for me to bow my knee (not physically, but with my emo’s and my will and my decisions.) More on that later.

Thy Kingdom come,

Dangit! Not again! Yes.. THY kingdom.. not.. my ..kingdom. As much as I want things my way, that’s a bad thing.

Thy will be done,

Again! Man, this whole submitting to authority of God is pretty central. Thy will, not my will. That is so hard to say when you feel it hard.. when my emo’s are hurting. And why is it hard? Cuz I’m basically thinking I know best. More often than not, I find myself automatically, subconciously trusting myself. Cuz I’m afraid of God. I don’t think he’s gonna keep me safe. If I feel like a wreck, then I’m seeking to save my life, cuz good golly! I can’t handle another wound coming at me! So I use that as excuse to trust me. No good. It’s trusting me that got my heart hurt/angry/etc in the first place. This is daily! Hourly at times! I’m writing this out now because I know it to be true, but HOW many times do I have to tell myself this truth: Jesus is worthy to be trusted. HIS will is for my good. Even if that means countering my will and fighting against me to break me of my pride. It’ll hurt, but my best life is HIS will.

On earth as it is in heaven.

Yes, heaven, the place where You dwell. Where your will is accomplished, because your rule is absolute. Let me be apart of bringing your will and kingdom to this earth.. today. I believe the 2nd chapter of “The Divine Conspiracy” states this well. God has given me a measure of authority over my life and my day and those things “under” me(that I own/have). What am I doing with those things/ppl? Am I exercising MY will or His will over/with them? That is, am I treating my family, friends, dog, coworkers(less than dogs? KIDDING!), car, house, $ like God would spend it? Am I demonstrating to a watching world what the life of God is like? And isn’t that life of love and truth! Often we have SUCH a misconception about what God would do with those things/ppl in our lives. I’ve dedicated MUCH thought to it (i.e., the rest of my blog!)

Give us this day,

Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year. Today. One day at a time. It’s more than enough.

Our daily bread.

Man may not live on bread alone..so (1) Father, I admit I need today. I’m a mess. And YOU are the solution. Not my will, not my brain’s scheming. and (2) yes, I do need bread. So thank you for giving me the talents and opportunity to provide for myself & those around me. And if I have more than what I need for today, may use it as You would.

And forgive us our sins

Willing to admit I’ve messed up? Not usually. But necessary.

as we forgive those who sin against us.

Elsewhere there’s a crazy story about this. Simply, I’m not allowed to be bitter. To be against someone for my own reasons and purpose. It’s not God’s will, therefore it’s not best for me.

And lead us not into temptation.

Cuz I’ll lead me there well & good enough on my own! O Lord, keep me from myself.

But deliver us from the evil one!

There is an enemy after me. Ready to stop me from all of this I’ve prayed.. even stopping me from praying, whether trying to make me feel that God doesn’t love me or wanna hear from me or that He’s gonna beat me down.. or sending my mind off on other worthelss tracks. Yeah, the one who wants me to live MY will not yours, who will whisper in my ear and convince me that “It’s just you.. I’m not here.” Lies! Damn Lies! That is the death of us all to listen to! Years of my life WASTED on this one belief that each and every thought was my own and not somehow placed in my path like an innocent (sometimes not so much) little piece of candy. “Ooh! Sugar is so TASTY!” (have we forgotten about Edmund in Narnia??)

For thine is the kingdom, power and glory forever and ever.

Well, this is a potential “add in” later than the rest (only in the western greek manuscripts, not the eastern..) But all text-criticism aside, nothing wrong with this confession: Even if I don’t submit to your will, doesn’t matter. You will WILL be accomplished. YOU are God here. And that’s a good thing.

Amen.

A good old fashioned way of saying, “May it be done.” Yes. May I submit. May you be glorified. May you get all the best out of me. And I’ll enjoy it.

There’s always 2 elements when it comes to “what to do”. (1) What Jesus says and (2) what I think about what Jesus says, especially when what I think Jesus says isn’t what I want Jesus to tell me!

There’s a bad tendency in the church to dissociate Jesus’ (God’s) will from wisdom. As if what God tells you will ALWAYS be irrational.

Likewise, there’s the other boundary that Jesus’ will isn’t personal to you, and He won’t tell you, so you just have to go with the ‘generic’ commands in the Bible about being a “good steward”(I *DO* mean in that to be read in the most mocking voice possible.. anyways..). And Jesus’ will is clearly your own personal benefit, material growth and ultimately “whatever you want to do is cool with him so long as you (1) give $$ to the poor/missionaries/church(and not invest your own life)  (2) send your kids to christian/home school(and not teach them discernment) and (3) go to church just on sunday mornings.

I’d like to propose a “staged” model whereby at first you learn and obey the generic commands of Christ and then he “let’s you in” on the “big picture”(irrational) but that sounds WAAAY too (1) contrived (2) like a cult (3) elitist (“secret knowledge” that I have but you ‘lowly’ don’t).

Jesus didn’t come to create a caste system, quite the opposite. In his coming, a goal of His is unity across the man-made borders.

Well, at the same time that it isn’t about a caste system, it IS about obedience (teach them to obey the commands). And it IS about that faithfulness/obedience with little being rewarded (parable of talents).

But most of us aren’t interested in obedience. I’m usually not! I like my own way thank you very much! I like the plush life of Americana. Listen to Jesus? Why would I do that when I can listen to me & everyone else?! I’ve got options, I don’t need to JUST listen to Jesus.. c’mon now.

I could keep going.. and I probably will..

What concerns me in this moment though is the harm that is done in going outside the boundaries set. Yes, it IS about “listen to Jesus”. Yes, that means even about your house and car. No, I don’t expect you to get it unless you’ve been faithful with the ‘generic’/'little’ commands. Yes, I am crazy.

Say I want to start a church. How am I going to do it? Well, should I go about the maps of the city I wanna start one & see where there’s the least number of churches? Or should I ask God and wait. and wait. and wait. What if I wait for 5 years and I don’t hear anything?

You realize just how many things could be ‘going right/wrong’ here? 1) Why do you even wanna start a church? Who’s idea was it? Your’s or God’s? Sure you may “see a need” and sure that need may well be legitimate in your own eyes. You may even be thinking that you’re “obeying God’s command” by starting a church, cuz after all “didn’t He tell us to spread the gospel?” (and (sarcasm again) OF COURSE gospel=church!)

(2) And what about your role in it? Did God say that He wanted *you* to do this? Or are you “jumping the gun” because “Well, no one else is!” What if God’s plan isn’t about “starting a church” but changing your will to be obedient to Him?

(3) Maybe after all that, He does want you to start a church. Maybe the location isn’t the important part. Did you ask God about what your priorities should be? And whether location is part of that deal? Why do you think He needs to answer your question on your timeline?

But for most of us, it probably isn’t about starting a church. What about choosing a church? Do you base your decision on which church is “most like Starbucks” or which church offers true fellowship around the Word of God and service to the poor, the sick, the weak, the widows? (but oh! I forgot, Starbucks gives to charity and even encourages it’s employees to do so.. maybe I SHOULD model my church-going to Starbucks afterall!!)

I’m not done yet. I started off writing this about the harm involved in over-rational approaches. Let me continue with my church-starting example. What happens if I don’t address any of the above questions and go ahead and pick the location with the least amount of churches in a neighborhood that is ethnically, financially and socially like me? And what happens if I preach to them messages that get me excited? What happens to the perception of Jesus in a whole community of people? Is sacrifice a part of that image? Is obedience part of what they understand christianity to be about? What are the ramifications of a whole nation not understanding the gospel because it’s been propogated by people who have not been lead by God, but by their own ‘wisdom’?

I dare say you get America, and you get Europe. There is no such thing as “no harm no foul” when it comes to living by your own wisdom and living by God’s explicit will for your life. And we won’t have a clue about any of this unless we obey what is already clear. Have you prayed today(since Jesus prayed daily)? Did it match “The Lord’s Prayer” (since that’s how Jesus taught us to pray)?

So here I am being a good thinker a few days ago and trying to use my brain for the task at hand: understanding how relationships grow.

Well, today I’m again, being a good boy and going to church, and hear a message I usually embrace and adore: “Jesus is enough” (enough for all my fears, questions, issues, thinking, relating, doing, etc. That is, I don’t need to have ‘5 steps to being a better christian’)

Now the centrality of the simple gospel is what I love about my church. But I was a bit concerned today. Was he calling me out on my thinking about relationships the other day? Did I somehow ‘dis’ God by not letting him be the glorious solution to whatever I defined as the problem?

So I got to thinking (duh?!).. mostly while conversing over this with a fellow thinker. If Jesus is all I need for all my issues and problems, then (1) what the heck does that mean and (2) how does that relate to me and my thinking processes? Here’s what we came up with:

• Jesus knows the details of all of our lives, and is ready/willing/able to communicate to us about what we should be doing in those circumstances. (By ‘communicate’ I refer to John 16.13, and all it entails.)
• I am human and don’t know all circumstances.
• My lack of complete knowledge results in generic statements about what I perceive to be ‘normal’ for all ppl reading/hearing me.
• Therefore, he knows you and your story and what ought be done more than what I can try to generalize, so listen to Jesus not me.

Now, that’s a valid & sound argument in my mind. But I’m not happy with it. Cuz I wanna say that I’ve come up with something here that is profitable (albeit not absolutely applicable). And I wanna say that my mind and thinking can be a God-glorifying enterprise. So I gave it another go:

• While I don’t know all circumstances, I do know something about my own.
• While I don’t know all truth, I do know what is communicated to me by Jesus (re: His Spirit/His words while on this planet).
• God wants our lives to be lived in accordance with truth; this is glorifying to Him.
• It then is glorifying to Him to understand my circumstances and understand His truth.
• Furthermore, it is glorifying to Him for me to bring my understanding of my life and His truth into unity in how I choose to live. That is, my life and his truth ‘eclipse’. (Think Venn diagrams..)
• Therefore, I need to use my rational processes to understand His truth and my circumstances.

Ok, now all that in English: I think. That’s a good thing as long as my thinking is constrained to understanding the elements and details of my life and how it “works” and what I’m doing and why I choose what I do. Likewise my thinking is a good thing in terms of having a coherent view of His truth, and it’s correspondence to my life. That is, I cannot live as Jesus without using my rational process. I can perhaps “look like it” or “pretend”, but I will be acting without understanding/knowledge. I will be little different than a commanded soldier. “Don’t ask questions, just do.”

Now, some will rebut, “Christians are to submit to God’s direction, and yes, should not ‘ask questions’ but should just go ahead and do as commanded clearly! That is what faithfulness is!”

Right.

So much of me wants to scream out towards that mindset, “But you’ll miss the glory of God in knowing Him!” But they would only yell back, “but you’ll miss out on His glory displayed because you have not acted!” So now that that has gotten us nowhere, let me proceed in another vein:

What was presented a minute ago could be setup like this:

• All God has communicated is commands for His followers.
• All God’s commands are to be followed by His followers.
• All God’s commands are clearly understood. “You read it, You do it”
  • As a corollary, “None of God’s commands take intellectual effort to comprehend.”
• Therefore, none of God’s communication needs nothing more than be acted upon.

If that is all the gospel is, where is Jesus? The whole point of this blog was recovering rationality to christian living in light of “Jesus is all I need.” While I see no need for rationality in the above argument, I do not also see any Jesus, nor need for Him. I only see man acting in his own power.

The sad part about this the above argument is that it is a christianity without ability to communicate with anyone other than those who already know God’s commands. What is to be said to the one who is depressed? Who is addicted to _____? Who keeps up with the Joneses?

Thinking gets people into their messes, yes. That is not a problem with thinking. It’s a problem with prioritising their thinking as a legit problem-solving method in stead of Jesus.

Keeping up with the Joneses is a problem Jesus called out. But what do we do with it? Just “stop it”? That’s an irrational responce. Rationality comes alongside Jesus’ words to the Rich Young Ruler and says, “Your priority is not eternal. Your priority is not Jesus’ glory but your own.”

Depression can have multiple causes, that is truly debated. But for a number of people I know, it has been caused by hearing messages in the back of your head and assuming they’re (1) from within your own mind and (2) truth when they are not.  Rationality comes and understands those 2 points and looks for the solution in Jesus, who has said there is an enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10.10, as well as 1 Cor 12.5.)

Rationality is the glue between what I know and do and what someone else says about what I know and do. The solution is always Jesus. My need is always Him. But it takes rational effort to understand my need, and to understand how He is the solution. Do I have to always know how He is the solution? No, but I know Him more by knowing how, and somehow knowing Him is all that matters (Philippians 3).

J.S. Mill joined the ranks of the famous with his utilitarian ethical system. “Greatest good is the greatest possible happiness for greatest number of people.”

Now, as much as I hate that, I do love it. I can *DO* something with such a definition. Take the historical alternative: “God is the source of goodness. We learn what good is by what he does.”

Somehow, you just can’t “do” as much with that.  I suppose what I mean is the the usefulness, the pragmatic qualities (i can’t say ‘utility’ like I want, cuz that’ll be a different meaning that JS Mill who I already referenced..) of such a definition are different.

I can extend the Mill’s definition of good- I can think about it and come up with finer uses and get a set of experiences which it prescribes. It’s a scientific definition.

But God’s definition is a blur. We need to know something either about ‘good’ or about ‘God’ to know what I’m saying, lest “Fargishads are mufotu.” (that actually sounds like a few languages.. unintended) The ambiguity in the mind of humanity over God’s nature and actions in this world are the srouce of the lack of easy-extention. But even then were we to select a nature of God of our own mind’s creating, could we not then have a set of experiences which we could say fit under our definition? Sure we could make such an argument, but even that isn’t what ppl are after. Would the argument be sound– corresponding to our daily experiences? Do we really have all the information we need to say “This is the mind of God”?

And that’s where I think most ppl don’t like God, as Biblically portrayed. They can’t “use” him. He’s not science. You can’t extend particulars from His general nature. All you have is a set of historical actions (which many balk at being arbitrary) and a set of statements on morality, relationships, etc. Whaddya do with that? It’s a bunch of particulars, from which the thinker tries to build a general model of, to build a definition of God which we can then “USE” like a good pragmatic. We thinkers just can’t live with a set of unrelated particulars.

This week has been a big reminder of a truth I first learned about because had to literally fight for my life over. And now, a friend and wife of a brother is learning the same lesson.

But more on that in a moment.

I’m in Logic class, something I believe should be entrance requirement for every single university/human on the planet. On tuesday our prof mentioned and again today he reminded us of one of his core beliefs: spiritual warfare in the world, and especially the west is in it’s nature ideological.. a battle for our minds.

There’s something basic in Christianity about having the “mind of Christ.” We’re told that we are to be renewed unto it. What then are renewed from? To put it into “my own words”: from World-thought (lies) to Christ-thought(truth). Our ability to detect & counter (fight) the lies that’s put out by the enemy, the world and even our own twisted minds is core to Christian living. We don’t believe all is one & one is all. 1jn 4 1jn2 2Cor 10

Here’s a quick set of common lies my prof spit out: My life is not worth living(so I ought kill myself), All religions are the same (so it doesn’t matter what I choose), Science has the answers(so religion isn’t of worth/truth-holding), Religion ‘A’ says that Jesus is ‘Y’, religion ‘B’ says that Jesus is ‘Z’.

Now, back to me & my friend.. I like the very first lie my prof said. Cuz that’s very close to what I had to fight a few years ago. Previously a friend had caught me asking, “You keep calling what you think ‘your thoughts’. Are you sure they’re yours?” I didn’t understand what he was getting at.. keeping me from pride, that there are others before me who’ve thought the same and maybe I’m just repeating it? Probably true, but in this direction, I was actively living according to what was in my head. Not all my thoughts I thought were from me. I thought they were. And when thoughts like, “God isn’t with you”, “God doesn’t love you”, “God is irrelevant to your pain”, “You’re alone.” “You can’t do this”, “You’re failing” start into your head.. even subtly, even on a lower level than what you would even admit to, there’s a war going on.

So I had to explicitly state those quiet statements in my mind that would ultimately control my actions & emotions.. and actively choose whether they were true or false. Now, I could have used any criteria for deciding truth from lie.. I could have gone Post-Modern and said there is no difference, but these thoughts and such a criterion were driving me to a very lonely, isolated, unhealthy position in life. So that wouldn’t do. I’ve known the truth- I know the truth is in Jesus, so His words became my standard. And freedom came with the fight. I started throwing out & denying when all I felt was the opposite of what Jesus said. It was the front-lines of a battle for my life. And it was a battle for my mind.

Now I hear of my friend, who is in a similar position. We’re both thinkers. I’m sure it hits thinkers the worst. The enemy’s hitting our heads. Her husband is going crazy cuz he wants to solve her problems, but he can’t. He has before, but this time, this is her battle.

We’re all praying for ya sis.